Fostering Positive Sibling Relationships

Sibling relationships can be beautiful, funny, complicated, and sometimes messy and that’s true in every family. When one child is neurodiverse, siblings may need a little extra support to understand each other and build a strong, loving bond.

Many parents share the same concern:

“I want all my children to feel seen, supported, and connected, but it doesn’t always feel easy.”

You’re not alone. With patience, guidance, and some intentional routines, families can help siblings grow up understanding, cheering for, and enjoying one another even with their differences.

Helping Siblings Understand Autism 

Children are naturally curious and can sometimes be confused when a brother or sister acts or communicates differently. Offering simple explanations through small conversations over time can help the most and go a long way, for example:

“Everyone’s brain works differently. Your sister might need more time with words and likes routines because it helps her feel calm. And you have things you're amazing at too, as we all do.”

Encouraging Natural Connection

Try starting small to build a healthy bond:

• Playing side-by-side with separate toys

• Gentle turn-taking games for a few minutes at a time

• Reading or snuggling with a book together

• Doing things they both enjoy, even if it's simple: bubbles, music, blocks, jumping outside

Let connection grow naturally. Some days may be harder than others but that’s normal.

Supporting the Sibling’s Feelings Too

Sometimes siblings may feel left out, frustrated, or unsure how to interact. That doesn’t always mean anything is wrong, it means they’re figuring it out just like you are.

Make space for their feelings, with phrases such as:

• “It’s okay if today felt hard.”

• “You’re doing such a great job being patient.”

• “I love watching how you care about your brother.”

Keeping Inclusion Balanced

It’s wonderful when siblings want to help but we also want them to feel like kids, not caretakers.

You can model phrases like:

• “Let’s invite him to play and it’s okay if he chooses his own thing.”

• “You don’t have to fix this, I’ve got it.”

  
  

We want siblings to be supportive, while also celebrating their own independence, interests, feelings and self-advocate where needed.

Little Skills That Help Big Feelings

Some everyday skills can help siblings connect and understand one another:

• Using simple language or gestures

• Practicing flexibility (with lots of encouragement)

• Taking breaks when emotions run high

• Learning calming strategies together (breathing, sensory tools, quiet corners)

  
  

During ABA therapy, siblings can be included in small moments, which can help everyone feel more confident and connected.

Celebrating Each Child

Every child in your family brings something special. Make sure each one gets encouragement and pride:

• “You’re such a caring big sister.”

• “Your brother loves your silly songs so much.”

• “Look how hard you both tried today.”

  
  

Small moments of celebration help siblings recognize not just challenges but also joy.

You’re Doing a Great Job!

Supporting sibling relationships in a neurodiverse family takes time, love, and grace  and you're already doing so much just by being here, learning, and trying each day.

At R&R Collaborative Therapy Services, we’re here to walk alongside your family. If you’d like support building sibling connection, practicing communication strategies at home, or getting guidance on common challenges, we’re here to help.